In My Opinion …
– “As our culture becomes more accepting of choices outside the norm, non-monogamy will expand as an acceptable choice, and the world will have to change as a result,”
I was at dinner the other night with some colleagues after leaving a conference. After dinner and a few drinks the conversation turned to marriage. My dear friend Alicia says “What’s your view on OPEN MARRIAGES”, “do they work”? We heard the typical responses “I’m too jealous” which I respect. Or “I have to have some emotional connection in order to sleep with someone”. My response was, “Yes I believe an open marriage can work”.
IN MY OPINION… an open marriage can work for two individuals with the same ideology, that ideology being MONOGAMY. I see monogamy as a constraint, confinement and full of boundaries. I’ve heard others say it’s unnatural. I would not go so far. However, the idea that one man and one woman only-and forever, if married, seems stifling. Now please don’t take the leap over to categorize me as licentious. I have been monogamous and can be for the right person. I consciously choose to be monogamous and not because of a title. But I view the idea of an open marriage as a more realistic approach that allows a consenting couple to act on a physical connection without it being a detriment to their marriage.
The conversation really got interesting when another colleague staunchly said for women, sex is best when emotion is involved. And me being the Scorpio that I am, my response to that was “I don’t require emotion to have great sex” In fact I enjoy being free and uninhibited to enjoy real carnal sex without judgement. Now don’t get me wrong I can enjoy this type of unrestrained and boundless sexual tryst with my partner (under monogamous conditions), but it isn’t frequent. Monotony tends to kick in and before you know it, you know which positions will be chosen first, second and if you make it to last. Those old tricks you used to pull out of your bag aren’t as effective.
An open marriage requires rules and regulations. Evaluate and be honest on why is it even being considered. Is it a physical or emotional need? A couple has to have trust and be secure within their relationship, in order to take this step and be open to reevaluate at any time. I would even venture to say that cheating and divorce would be less common if this became a societal norm. Some would even say couples in an open relationship are happier. Now I stayed away from the religious construct of marriage and I’m quite sure others will state their case. In the end everything ain’t for everybody.
Ms. EmmJay is the producer and creator of the web series He Said | She Said the table talk series premiering in the Summer of 2019